What Happened When I Stopped Forcing My Home—and My Life
There comes a moment when you realize that forcing every plan, every room, every expectation into place isn’t actually working. Control isn’t the way forward. Opening up is. Allowing is.
That was me stepping into 2025
My intention for the year: Be in the flow. (Easier said than done, lol)
Not force.
Not micromanage.
Just…allow.
The year started a little rough, and it would have been easy to slip into old patterns. But whenever my mind began to spiral, I paused and repeated: Things just flow to me. Whatever is meant to happen, will.
And I kept working. I didn’t sit still waiting for magic. I worked without the tight grip I’m used to.
And then, in the middle of all this surrender, I got antsy with my apartment.
The layout I loved suddenly felt like it belonged to a past version of me. Everything was still “right,” but it didn’t match the new openness I was practicing. And the sofa — the piece I was convinced could not move — suddenly didn't seem immovable.
One morning, without thinking, I just moved it.
No plan. No layout drawings. Just moved it across the room.
And immediately, I felt it. A lift. A shift. A spark of, “Oh… this feels better.”
I gave myself a week to see if the chi supported the new setup, but honestly, I knew right away. Even in the dead of winter, my energy lifted, and my habits shifted too. My mind followed the furniture, opening and noticing possibilities I hadn’t allowed before.
And that shift brought up a memory of a client from years ago.
Every suggestion I made was met with the same answer: “NO.”
What if we move the sofa here? No.
What if we try this layout? No.
What if we shift this piece to open the room? No.
It wasn’t about the design. She simply wasn’t ready for change. Holding on gave her a sense of safety. Control can feel protective. My role isn’t to push. But when someone isn’t ready to let go, pushing only pushes them further away — from the process, from possibility, from themselves.
I truly understood in that moment: readiness is personal. Timing is personal. Change, even small change, asks for emotional space. Without that space, even the best idea feels like a threat.
And as I let things flow this year, I started seeing how differently life responds when you’re open.
The things I’d hoped for but stopped gripping onto started finding their way in. Not because I orchestrated them — but because I wasn’t blocking them with expectations and overplanning.
I just finished a dream project with a team that felt aligned in every way — collaborative, kind, generous. A group of people who made the work feel light, and honestly, made me sad when it wrapped because it’s s so rare for everyone to fit so naturally.
And someone meaningful drifted back into my life with the same openness. No pressure. No “what does this mean?” spiral. Just openness.
And that’s the real point.
This isn’t about a sofa. It isn’t even about design this week. It’s about understanding your own resistance.
The moments where you grip too hard instead of letting possibility in.
Instead of forcing yourself into a decision, try sitting with it and asking:
Why am I resisting this?
What am I trying to force?
Is the “no” coming from preference or fear?
What am I afraid will happen if I move the sofa, or change the wallpaper, or rearrange the room — or my life?
You don’t need to change everything at once. You don’t need to be ready before you’re ready. You just need to notice, and sit with it.
Once you understand the hesitation and meet it instead of fighting it, real openness begins.
✨ Ready to let your home support your life instead of holding it back? Schedule a Design Alignment Call and start creating a space where energy flows.
